This Far
by SparksFly18
Summary: "I know you never were about me./It's easier to doubt me/ Than to let me let you go./You'll start to bleed 'cause you can't do your part./You see, your sweet little blade was always so sharp."    Tori is tired of fighting for the upper hand. *Jori*
1. Why Bother

This Far

Chapter 1- Why Bother

I do not own Victorious or the song Why Bother by Allison Weiss. If I did I probably wouldn't be sitting here thinking about all the things I don't own.

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><p><strong>But why bother<strong>  
><strong>Cause I'd rather call it off<strong>  
><strong>Than wait for it to work<strong>  
><strong>And why bother<strong>  
><strong>Cause I bet you're better off<strong>  
><strong>With some other hopeless jerk<strong>  
><strong>And I like you, but what can I do<strong>  
><strong>There's too much space to make you stay<strong>

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><p>Frustrated cannot even <em>begin<em> to describe how I feel about Jade West. I'm frustrated how I try so hard to make her notice me, at least acknowledge our friendship. Like I said, frustration cannot begin to describe my feelings for Jade, and while I can sit here and toss out a bunch of words to try and describe my feelings, I rather take you back to the beginning.

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><p>Ever since I started attending Hollywood Arts, Jade has been nothing but mean to me, and while most people would be scared shitless and run for their lives the second they got a chance, I stuck around. I've been nothing but nice to her, and I could tell that annoys her. Every time I try to get close to her she pushes me away. Its like she built this castle, complete with a moat full of piranhas and crocodiles, and the only way to get inside is if she lets the drawbridge down, and I dont see that happening anytime soon. The closest Ive ever been to getting though those impervious castle walls was the time I helped her and Beck get back together, and I must admit the smidge of vulnerable Jade that I saw made me want more, like a lion having its first taste of blood, I<em> needed<em> more.

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><p>"Whats that song for?" I ask as Andre finishes the last chord on his keyboard.<p>

"It's for my advanced songwriting class semester project, and it's wigging me out." he says with a little hit of worry in his voice.

"Well put your wig back on!" I joke, and I swear I heard the sound of crickets chirping, "Cause that song sounds really cool." I say trying to dispel the awkwardness.

"Thanks but I've got no lyrics yet and it's due in three days." the musical genius states. After Robbie's painful attempt at coming up with lyrics, I got an idea.

"Didnt jade take that class last year?" I asked Andre as he started to put away his keyboard.

"Yah I think so why?" he asked curiously as he slowly slide his computer into his backpack.

"Well maybe she could help your come up with the lyrics. I would help you but I've been told I couldn't write a song to save my life." I said as an image of a certain goth girl with raven hair popped into my mind.

Little did Andre know, that me and said goth girl had been spending a fair amount of time together lately. It started off with her coming over to use my piano to practice on, and after a couple of days it seemed like she was starting to let the drawbridge down. But I should've known better than to try and cross the treacherous moat.

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><p>"Just shut it Vega!" Jade turns and snaps at me. I should have known better than to bring this up.<p>

"I'm sorry Jade but I can't." I stood my ground not afraid to back down. These last few days I've seen the nice, sweeter side of Jade that most people probably don't know about, except for Beck and maybe Cat, and I am no longer afraid of her. "Why don't you show this side of you at school? Why do you act so ganky all the time, and trust me I know you're acting!" I shout back. I was really ticked off now.

"It's none of your business whether I do or do not act a certain way" she huffs.

"But it is my business because I don't want to keep hiding our friendship. I hate keeping up appearances at school. I feel like your dirty little secret!" I scream. I honestly do hate how when we're alone Jade is this nice, sweet person with a heart, but as soon as I see her at school it's back to the old bitter Jade everyone knows.

"I never said you had to be my friend. No one forced you to care so much!" she retaliated through gritted teeth. " If you want I won't keep you a secret anymore, because there is nothing to hide."

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><p>And with those last soft-spoken words she left, and she took my heart with her. I would never admit it, but Jade had stolen my heart and broke it all within a matter of days.<p> 


	2. Distance

This Far

Chapter 2- Distance

I do not own Victorious or Christina Perri's song Distance, if I did Jori would totally be happening right now ;)

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><p><strong>Please don't stand so close to me<strong>

**I'm having trouble breathing**

**I'm afraid of what you'll see right now**

**I'll give you everything I am**

**All my broken heart beats**

**Until I know you'll understand**

**And I will make sure to keep my distance**

**Say "I love you" when you're not listening**

**How long can we keep this up, up, up?**

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><p>Jade POV<p>

* Flashback *

Tori Vega is like ketchup and pizza, something that should be disgusting together, but for some strange reason, you don't quite understand, you actually enjoy. Don't get me wrong, I hate the younger Vega, not as much as I find the older talentless and annoying, but lately it's been different. Ever since I saw her rubbing my boyfriend I've made it my mission to make her life at Hollywood Arts a living hell. I framed her during our fight scene, I tricked her into helping me with my play, and I also caused her to lose a substantial amount of blood all in an attempt to get the lead in Steamboat Suzy _Even if Sikowitz ended up taking it_. And given my ganky nature toward the half Latina girl, she somehow still managed to put up with me.

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><p>"I'm coming in Vega." I proclaim as I barge through her front door and march my way through the living room, to the piano.<p>

"Yah Jade, just invite yourself over, no need to knock." her words coated in sarcasm. I smirk as I reach my destination and remove the case around the keys of the piano. _Might as well mess with Tori while I'm here_. I start to play the theme from Halloween as I slowly turn my head to give Tori the most disturbing look I could think of. "Jade stop," She whimpers as she cautiously steps back "That's super creepy!"

"Don't be such a baby, Vega." I decided to stop goofing around and start working on what I really came here for. The brunette just kept staring at me, dumbfounded. "Close your mouth or you'll catch flies." I grin as she finally comes back to reality.

"Not to be rude or anything," yet her tone would say otherwise, "but why are you here?"

"I needed a piano and I was _not_ going to spend a couple more hours at school than I already had to." Plus I ditched theater class and I wasn't going to drive all the way back to that shit hole people call school.

"A couple hours?" Tori exclaims, "Wait so you mean you're going to be here for a while?" God I swear sometimes she's not as bright as everyone thinks she is.

"Last time a checked an hour was 60 minutes, no chiz I'm going to be here for a while." I retorted. "So, what's for dinner?" I smirked as Tori visibly gulped.

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><p>"Ugh" Tori groans as she tosses her phone on the couch next to her. I look up from the piano curiously. "Look's like we're on our own for dinner. My parents are going to watch some movie." It seems like the heads of the Vega household are always out on dates. Are they ever home for more than five minutes?<p>

"Oh well that's no problem." I said reassuringly as I hopped down from the piano and made my way to the kitchen. I didn't have to turn around to know Vega was staring at my back, wide-eyed as I raided her pantries looking for anything that could pass for dinner.

"What do you mea-"

"I _mean_ I could cook dinner." I was being completely serious but the younger Vega didn't think I was. She probably didn't trust me enough to make her food without poisoning it.

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><p>Tori insisted on watching my every move while I made the spaghetti, occasionally she would do a random taste test and nod approvingly. Once the pasta dish was ready to be served, the brunette grabbed some taco shells and plopped a spoonful of spaghetti inside.<p>

"What exactly do you think you're doing, Vega?" I asked, puzzled.

"Making spaghetti tacos," she states as I give her a quizzical look, "Don't tell me you've never had spaghetti tacos!"

I must admit I underestimated spaghetti tacos and thanks to Vega I can no longer eat spaghetti without a taco shell now. After we finished dinner, and I made Tori clean the mess I made in the kitchen, I decided to finish what I came here for. As soon as she was done washing dishes, the half Latina approached me at the piano and asked if I could teach her how to play.

"Wait, You're telling me you don't know how to play the piano?" I ask in disbelief, "Then why the heck do you have a piano in your house? Is it just a decoration?" Tori shortly laughs at my questions.

"No it not just for decorations," she answers "My mom used to work as a pianist in fancy restaurants when she was in college." I never would have guessed that Mrs. Vega used to be talented; well I guess Tori took after her mom while Trina took after her dad.

"So your mom played boring music in snoozefest fancy smancy restaurants?" I chuckle, " That explains so much."

"What's that supposed to mean!" She says in her best Cat imitation. Who knew I would actually be enjoying Tori Vega's company? If you told me I would be sitting in her front room trying to teach her how to play the piano and having fun, I would have personally checked you into a mental institution. "I have a fun idea," the brunette says cheerfully, this should be interesting, "We should write a song!"

"Why on earth would I write a song with you?" I ask and I can see in her eyes that my words hurt her a bit. "What I mean to say is what would we write about and why?"

"We could write about- this blanket!" she states while holding up a tattered sheet of cotton.

"This should be interesting," I smirk, "Alright Vega, you come up with the lyrics and I'll figure out the melody." I start to play something along the lines of twinkle twinkle little star while Tori bobs her head along.

"Blanket, Blanket grey and black. How I wish you were a-" I slam my hands against the keys before she could finish destroying my ear drums.

"What the hell Vega, are you trying to torture me?" I raise my voice as a frown forms on her bottom lip.

"I-I was just warming up." she says in a hushed tone, "I didn't think it was that terrible."

"You couldn't write a song to save your life," I started "Just stick to standing there and looking pretty." I slyly smile causing the half-Latina to blush.


	3. Bad Communication

This Far

Chapter 3- Bad Communication

If you haven't caught on yet I draw inspiration for the chapters from songs. So if you want the full experience you should open up a new tab, youtube the song, and listen while you read. :) Anywho, sorry it took me a week to upload, my mom has been riding my butt about school work. Lucky for you I don't do any! So hopefully i'll have the next chapter up sooner.

I do not own Victorious, all I own is an iPod that just so happens to have Bad Communication by Sufjan Stevens currently playing on it.

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><p><strong>I'll talk but I know you won't listen to me<strong>

**Oh you wouldn't say it but you wanted to**

**Don't look, don't walk away while I am speaking**

**I'll take it, but I know it's not for taking**

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><p>Tori's POV<p>

I could hardly sleep last night. It seemed that every time I started to doze off, our fight would replay in my head.

_**"If you want I won't keep you a secret anymore, because there is nothing to hide."**_

I kept trying to convince myself that the raven haired girl meant she was going to start showing the friendlier sided that I grew to love over the past few days. But this is Jade West we're talking about, the stubborn, scissor loving, dark, demented, goth chick that would never ever show weakness in public. I guess I just have to accept the fact that our short-lived friendship perished along with part of my heart that yearned for the emerald-eyed girls affection.

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><p>"Hey there muchacha!" Andre cheerfully greets me. He is my closest guy friend and he always seems to make me feel better.<p>

"Hey Andre." I languidly grin.

"Looks like someone didn't get the recommended eight hours of sleep last night." he says playfully.

"Ya, I tried but it's not as easy as it seems." _Especially when your heartbreak is on a continuous loop._ "How's the songwriting coming along?"

"It should be coming today after school," he starts "Beck convinced Jade to help me out." Darn, I knew I shouldn't have asked that question, it seems like all roads lead to Jade West.

"That's great." I reply, apparently a bit bitterly because Andre asked if I as ok. "Yah, I'm fine why would you ask that?" _Does he know how I feel about Jade, how could he possibly know, _I _don't even know_.

"Calm down Tori, I was just making sure you were ok." he says soothingly, "No need to bug out." He was right, things were back to normal, back to when Jade _hated_ me and wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. So why does it not feel normal?

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><p>I open my locker and grab my black polished theater history book. I smile at the memory of Jade vandalizing it. <em>Get it together Tori! She hates you; she doesn't want to be your friend, so why do you still care about her?<em> I shut my locker door and slightly jump at the sudden, gorgeous, blue-green eyes glaring at me.

"So _you're_ the one to thank for volunteering me to help out Andre?" Jade says with a hint of sarcasm.

"I thought you were done talking to me." I state and before she could open her mouth to reply, I continue, "Look Jade, you're either my friend or not. I'm not going to sit around and let you toss me around like some dog toy." I stop when I realize she zoned out. "Jade! See this is exactly what I mean, but you wouldn't know because you don't care enough to pay attention." I notice she's looking around at the other students in the hallway whose attention is now fully on my one sided argument. Her deadly dagger like eyes scare threaten them to resume whatever they were previously doing before my outburst.

She turns to look at me with those piercing eyes, attention fully wrapped on me. "Forget it Jade, I give up. It's like you have an extra hand, because any time it seems like mine is finally on top, you somehow manage to sneak yours back on top. I'm tired of fighting for the upper hand." I stare at her waiting for a reply, any sign of acknowledgment, but she just stares back at me with the same blank expression. As she turns her back to me and walks away, I yell, "Are you happy now? You finally won!"

Things should be back to normal. Jade should be back to hating me and I should be back to at least attempting to be nice to the rude, ganky goth girl. So why does it feel like my hearts been ripped out as I stare at her walk away.

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><p><strong>The oneness someone of which you notice me<strong>

**I told you, do not follow what you couldn't see**

**Oh, I love you, I love you**

**Some way, you will want it your way, sunrise**

**So I would not be mistaken what I know is right**

**Don't be so funny with me, I'm not laughing**

**Oh, I love you, I love you**


	4. She Is The Sunlight

**This Far**

Chapter 4- She Is The Sunlight

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><p>FanFiction finally let me edit the story, thank god. Anywho, I don't own Victorious or the lyrics to this song... blah,blah,blah.<p>

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><p><strong>If loving her is <strong>

**Heartache for me**

**And if holding her means**

**I have to bleed **

**Then I am the martyr **

**And love is to blame **

**She is the healing **

**And I am the pain**

**She lives in a daydream**

**Where I don't belong**

**She is the sunlight**

**And the sun is gone**

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><p>As soon as I left Vega's house, after our little argument, I had this strange feeling. Guilt? No that's impossible I do <em>not <em>feel guilt. I have never _once_ felt guilt, and god knows I wouldn't _ever_ feel guilt, especially towards Vega. The name burns in my throat, like when you have acid reflux and slightly vomit in your mouth, but why can't I stop saying it.

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><p>"Will you please just help Andre write a song? I already promised to get you onboard." Beck pleaded as he embraced his backpack in front of him. He always hated letting people down and I keep telling him to stop making promises he can't come though with, but he never listens. As I looked into his broody brown eyes, I caved.<p>

"Fine," I pouted, "But I'm only doing it because I enjoy writing songs, not because you asked."

"Good girl." he joked as his lips briefly pecked mine. Lately his usually warm lips have grown colder, or are they mine? I stood there trying to figure out what was going on between Beck and I, but as if on cue, Andre comes striding up.

"So, what's the verdict?" he asks, glancing between my boyfriend and I.

"She sai-"

"I can speak for myself," I bitterly interrupt, " Sure, I'll help you with your song, but first, why do you want my help?" I inquire.

"Well, Tori says she can't write a song to save her life, which seems like a pretty lame excuse to me," I smirk at the brief flashback, "and she said I should ask you because you already took the class." He finally finishes.

"Why am I not surprised that this is all Vega's fault," I scoff, "Come on, I need coffee if I'm going to be staying after school." I walk away with my boyfriend trailing behind me hand in cold hand.

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><p>In between classes I find myself alone, no luscious haired boy by my side. I scan through the hallway, searching for anyone to at least stand next to, to make it seem like I'm not a loner. My eyes fall upon a tan girl with long wavy brown hair, who probably doesn't want to talk to me after I practically rejected her. I never meant to, my attitude just got the better of me and I said something that I shouldn't have. As soon as Andre said goodbye to her I decided to go make things right.<p>

"So, you're the one to thank for volunteering me to help out Andre?" I state sarcastically.

"I thought you were done talking to me," she says distantly, and before I had time to reply, she continues, "Look, Jade, you're either my friend or not. I'm not going to sit around and let you toss me around like some dog toy." I space out thinking about whether or not I do those things she just accused me of. The sound of Tori's voice snapped me back to reality. "Jade! See this is exactly what I mean, but you wouldn't know because you don't care enough to pay attention." I look around at the nosey students trying to listen in on our conversation. They stop as soon as I silently threaten them to mind their own business. Once everyone resumes what they were doing earlier I turn my full attention to Tori, whom I haven't really been paying as much attention to as I should have. "Forget it Jade, I give up. It's like you have an extra hand, because any time it seems like mine is finally on top, you somehow manage to sneak yours back up there. I'm tired of fighting for the upper hand." I stare at her blankly; this is not going as I had hoped it would. I need a new plan to show her I really do want to be her friend. Call me crazy but I think Vega is growing on me, and I'm scared. I turn on my heel and start to walk away as I hear her yell, "Are you happy now‽ You finally won!"

_No Vega, not at all._

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><p>The rest of the day moved rather slowly, I stayed away from Vega's cold shoulder as much as I could, but it seemed like everywhere I went I could still feel the cold front coming in. We had been working on the song for what felt like an eternity and we still hadn't come up with a chorus yet, it didn't help that we had been distracted by childish games. For some strange reason I was being nice to Andre, maybe it's because I knew if I got on his good side then I might have a chance to get back on Tori's good graces.<p>

"Let's try coming up with the chorus again." I suggest as Andre starts to play. While he sings randomly about tuna and dogs, my mind wanders back to the half Latina girl.

_**"I give up... I'm tired of fighting for the upper hand."**_

I look down at the notepad and realized I had written her words down. I quickly erase them as an idea pops in my head.

"Alright, let me try something," I assert as I put the notepad down and grab the headphones, "Record me." The musical prodigy complies with my demand and hits some buttons on his laptop. He starts playing the chorus and I chime in shortly after.

"There is no upper hand

I'm giving you mine

It doesn't have to end up

Wasting your time

There's things that I could say

But here in my way

I wanna let you know

That it's all ok"

"So, what'd you think?" I ask honestly and he just nods like a babbling idiot.

"Wow, Jade, How'd you come up with that?" a stunned Andre asks.

"I don't know. It just came to me." I lie.

"Is it about Beck? You two seemed a little tense this morning."

"No," I confess, "It's not about Beck"

As I contemplate whether or not that was a bad move on my part, I can see the gears clicking inside his head. I hope he doesn't find out, but on the other hand, part of me hopes he does, that way he can tell me what's going on with me.


	5. Quiet

**This Far**

Chapter 5- Quiet

**Happy Halloween! I can't give you candy via the internet, but I can give you another chapter, so quite complaining! **

**Dan Schneider owns Victorious, Lights owns the song, and my parents own me**

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><p><strong>So here's my heart, and here's my mouth<strong>

**And I can't help if things come out**

**'Cause there are words I want to shout**

**But maybe I'll stay low**

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><p><strong>Andre's POV<strong>

"No," she confesses, "It's not about Beck."

Well if it's not about Beck then wh-? No, it can't be. There's no way Jade West poured her heart and soul into a chorus about me. Or maybe? _No, snap out of it Andre! She's your best friend's girlfriend._ My grandmother raised me right, well before she lost her mind. I can't make a move on my bro's girl, that's just wrong. It's part of the bro code, **Thou shall not covet thy brother's women**. But what if she covets me? Come on, Jade doesn't even like me like that, she doesn't like anyone for that matter, except of course her boyfriend.

"Well, if we're finished here," she draws out, "I've got homework to do."

"Uh, yah of course," I return to reality, "thanks for your help." she smiles a silent 'you're welcome' as she slings her bag over her shoulder.

"Vega's the one you should be thanking, it _was_ her idea." _Thanks Tori, it's your fault I have a crush on Jade._

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><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

"Vega wait." Jade pleads, gently grabbing my wrist. She carefully tugs at my arm, causing me to turn and face her. Her dark hair with blue streaks juxtaposing her flawless porcelain face, she looks around the deserted hallway before returning her gaze to me. The orange light shines upon her usually pale skin, making it look somewhat tan. The goth girl's blue-green eyes briefly break contact with mine, and I swear they skimmed over my lips. Just the thought of Jade looking at my lips sent a pleasant shiver down my spine. My heart beat rapidly when I noticed the raven-haired girl inch ever so closer to me. I shut my eyes as she closes the gap between our lips and...

*** BEEP ***

_No! Stupid phone why now_‽ I squeeze my eyes shut hoping it's not too late to return to my interrupted dream.

*** BEEP ***

_Just ignore it and go back to sleep_.

*** BEEP * * BEEP***

_Ugh, someone's persistent_. I finally pull the covers off and get up to check my phone. Four texts from Andre saying that he needs to talk to me ASAP and that he's at the door. Well it better be pretty darn important if he just interrupted my amazing dream. Wait, I dreamt that Jade _kissed_ me, and I liked it?

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><p>"Did you get my texts?" a visibly shaken Andre asked in nothing but a t-shirt, shoes, and boxers. Wow, it must be super urgent if he didn't have the decency to put on some pants.<p>

"Yes, why do your think I'm standing her at three in the morning." I answer a little annoyed.

"I'm tripping out Tori, I'm tripping out!" Andre whines.

"Alright, just come in." I say soothingly while gesturing him to enter. He hurries inside with his bike and drops it against the sofa, demanding some hot cocoa. First off it's 3 am, and secondly he can't just barge into my house demanding cocoa! I reject his demand and he groans while rubbing his temples.

"What is wrong with you?" I ask. He hesitates before answering.

"I- I think I'm in love with Jade."

"I'll make the cocoa."

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><p>"You think you're in love? With <em>Jade<em>?" I ask, a tad bit of hurt in my voice. Was I jealous, did I like Jade too?

"I think so."

"Ok, what happened tonight?" I needed to know.

"I don't know. We were just working together, all night, at school, and I just saw her singing and she just looked so- so pretty and sweet." he spills.

"_Dude_, you can't _love_ Jade." I state. And neither can I but it looks like we're both at a loss here.

"You think I don't know that," Andre raises his voice, "Beck is one of my best friends. I would never try and move in on a friend's girl, nah uh, I don't play that way." We finally sit down and set our mugs on the table.

"Good, so just forget about this." Maybe I should be taking my own advice right about now. Andre can't like Jade because she's his best friends girlfriend and I can't like her because she's, well, _Jade,_ and a girl.

"I can't!" he whines again. I comfort him after he explains that he has trouble bottling up his feelings.

"Listen," I say calmly while rubbing his shoulder, "I don't think you're in love with Jade."

"You don't?" he asks, looking for reassurance.

"No, you guys were just there, together, alone, late," I ramble on trying to find an excuse, "and you were tired."

"Yeah, we were tired. That's true," he echoes.

"And you were writing a song, so you felt emotional," I start and he agrees, "and you forgot that Jade is a mean, vicious person, with deep psychological problems." I felt like a terrible person, pointing out Jade's flaws like that, but I had to get Andre to stop liking her like that.

"Yeah," he responds as if hypnotized, "I forgot those things."

"But by tomorrow," I pause and pat his shoulder, "you'll be fine again."

"Yeah, I bet I will." he smiles and nods. And with that, we simultaneously reach for out mugs of hot cocoa and take a long overdue sip.

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><p>I shut my locker door just as Andre approaches me with a much-needed coffee in his hand. He had left my house around 4:30 that morning and heaven knows if he got any sleep. He greets me and I ask him if he's still feeling wonky about the goth girl.<p>

"Nah, I think I got my wonk under control. I probably just need to-" _Speak of the devil._

"Just be cool, be cool" I shush Andre as Jade and Beck approach. I could tell he was nervous by the way he repeated my words as if I was the one who needed to calm down.

"So, can I hear the song?" she asks the boy standing next to me. Before he can form a complete sentence, a bouncy, bubbly Cat in Jupiter Boots came bounding around the corner. Somebody obviously went to go see her uncle and uncle this weekend and came back with another Sky Store addiction. As soon as Cat was out of view, Jade brought up the song again.

"Jade wants to hear the song you guys recorded together." I reiterate slowly to our clearly distracted friend.

"Oh yeah," he begins, all eyes on him "I'll email it to you, you know, via the Internet." _Via? Smooth_.

"Via?" Jade voices my thought.

"Don't you think you guys should listen to the song, together?" her boyfriend asks, just as confused as his girlfriend.

"No, she can listen to it by herself. I didn't do anything!" he ends up sounding paranoid.

"Okay," she draws out, annoyance slightly visible. "Email it to me." She walks past with Beck and I can hear them discussing Andre's odd diction. I turn and analyze the wonked out boy to my right.

"Maybe you are in love with Jade." I conclude, hoping it wasn't the case.

"Shh! Don't say that." He begs.

"But what if you are." I state the worst-case scenario.

"I am."

"_You are_‽_"_ I ask in disbelief, wishing it wasn't the truth.

"No, stop it!" he yells while running off screaming.

* * *

><p>It was a terrible idea, doomed to fail from the start. My impression of her was just as bad, okay, worse than her impression of me. I thought if I showed Andre how much of a gank Jade could be, then he would get over her, and I would have one less person to compete against for the goth girl's affection. But I knew I only made matters worse before he leaned into kiss me.<p>

"Andre!" I scream and hit him with a pillow, scared that he almost kissed me. Don't get me wrong; I like him, just not like that. He's like a brother to me, and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't kiss your brother, unless of course you're last name is Coyne.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes, "You just seemed so much like Jade. I got all willy wonky!"

"Man," I put down the pillow and turn to face him, "You're really messed up about this. But come on, Andre, you don't even know if she likes you back."

"Then why would she write the chorus about me?" He asks with a slight air of confidence. _What_‽

"How do you know it's not about Beck?"

"Because she told me it wasn't!" he interjects. "She was holding my hand earlier and then she sang about giving someone her hand, giving _me_ her hand." I refuse to believe that Jade likes Andre; she just doesn't strike me as the Tiger Woods type.

"Well, I still don't think it's about you."

"Here," he says pulling out his PearPhone and putting it into the docking system by the piano, "If you don't believe me, listen."

I listened closely to the words, and as soon as the chorus ended I stood there, stupefied, for the rest of the song. It definitely was not about Andre, but how could I tell him that it's not about him, rather me. And I sure as hell can't just waltz up to Jade and tell her I know the song's about me, she would probably just deny it. No, I've got to get Jade to tell me herself, but first, I have to get rid of the competition.


	6. Catch Me

**This Far**

Chapter 6- Catch Me

****Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream that i would update this story, Happy MLK day, hope you had a good day off. **By the way, sorry for the super long wait, stupid college apps, but winter break is over which means more homework, which means more procrastinating! So hopefully i'll have quicker updates for you. ****I do not own Victorious but how cool is it that we got We Ship Jori to trend, if only Dan would acknowledge it. I also do not own the song Catch Me, bummer. **

* * *

><p>Before I fall too fast<p>

Kiss me quick

But make it last

So I can see

How badly this will hurt me

When you say goodbye

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

I got home around 12:45 that night, or should I say morning, after I finished helping Andre write his song. I walked through the front door, right past my father who was reading the paper and not giving a shit about me as usual, and straight to the kitchen where a plate of cold spaghetti sat waiting for me; good thing too, I was starving. I put the plate in the microwave for a couple of minutes and while I waited for the hot pasta dish to cool, I popped a taco shell in to be warmed up. As I walked up to my room, spaghetti taco in hand, I noticed my father went to bed. It gave me some comfort knowing that the man who raised me would wait in the living room for at least nine hours to make sure I came home safely, or at least not raped. Taco devoured, homework "done", and teeth brushed, I was finally ready to get some sleep.

* * *

><p><em>No, not this again. <em>My terrible mistake from the other day started to replay in my mind. Usually I enjoy nightmares, but this was just painfully unpleasant. When my cue came to turn and leave I had an epiphany; this is _my _dream, I can change it if I feel like it. So instead of running away, I decided to stick around and see what would have happened if I didn't chicken out. Vega did _not _seem thrilled that I hadn't said a single word since her little rant ended, and the second she realized I had nothing to say, she was the one to walk away this time.

"Vega wait." I plead while reaching out and gently grabbing her wrist. I slid my hand further down her forearm and carefully tugged so she would face me. I scanned the hallway to make sure nobody was around to see me holding the younger Vega's arm. When the coast was clear I returned my gaze to the half-Latina that stood before me. The strange orange tinted light must have hit her at exactly the right spot because she looked like an angel, halo and all. Normally I hate brown eyes, they all look the same to me, only one shade, shit brown; but Tori's eyes were different. They're a warm shade of brown. I could stare at them for hours and not grow tired. _Crap, why the hell am I staring at Vega's eyes? _I look away but panic again when I realize I was now admiring her lips and she _must_ have noticed because they formed into a slight smirk the second I looked away. My eyes returned to her chocolate brown ones and I became hypnotized. It was like she put me in some sort of trance because before I knew it my face was drifting ever so closer to hers. _What the heck, it's just a dream, I've got nothing to lose. _We both close our eyes as I close the gap between our lips. Just when I thought I felt the brunette start to kiss me back, I jolted awake.

_What the hell? Why did I wake up? I didn't want to wake up yet! _The second my head was out of its daze, I checked the clock on my nightstand only to find I had three and a half hours left until I normally get up for school. Around five-thirty I abandoned all hopes of returning to sleep and decided to get up an hour earlier.

* * *

><p>When I finished getting ready for school I decided to meet up with Beck at my favorite coffee shop. He politely stood up and greeted me with a kiss, pulling out my chair. Beck is the perfect gentleman. He shakes hands with people he meets, stands up when someone of importance walks in, pulls out ladies chairs, and even hold doors open. I'm sick of it. Don't get me wrong, it's nice and all, but I want a little pizzazz in my life, not this predictable pattern of a relationship. Let's face it, Beck Oliver's idea of excitement is daring to not order my coffee before I show up.<p>

"Well you're up early." Beck states as he walks off to get our drinks.

"Yah, well it's pointless to fall back to sleep when you only have three hours until you have to get back up." I finally reply as he places my cup before me.

"In that case you should have two cups, cuz heaven knows you'll make it through the day with just one." He quietly chuckles and I politely acknowledge his attempt at a joke. It's too early for jokes. "So…" He tries to start a conversation while taking a swig of his steaming hot beverage.

"What are we doing Beck?" I ask, staring into his dull brown eyes, searching for any hint of a spark. Ever since I woke up I've been trying to get rid of the image of those warm chocolate brown eyes from my dream and replace them with the familiar ones staring back at me.

"What do you mean? We're drinking coffee, talking…"

"No," I cut him off, "I mean, what's happened to us?" I lower my voice and gesture toward the distant space between us. "It's just not the same."

"Nothing's happened. We still love each other and care for one another, right?"

"Maybe that's just it, nothing's happened in the two years we've been together."

"What are you trying to say Jade?" the worry now clearly evident in his voice. Now maybe is not the time to end this. It's clear he doesn't want to break-up and maybe I'm overreacting. I definitely do _not_ have feelings for Tori Vega and even if I did I wouldn't break up with Beck for _her. _

"Nothing." I reassure, kissing his cheek, grabbing his hand, and leading him out of the coffee shop, toward the car, toward school, and inevitably toward _Vega_.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

I finally convinced Andre to get over Jade by writing a song to get all his wonk out and sing it at the Friday night concert tonight. I am kind of relieved he asked me to sing it with him because maybe it will help not only him get over Jade, but possibly me as well. Andre was right when he said it was wrong to like Jade. She has a boyfriend, who happens to be our good friend, and don't forget she _**hates**_ me. It would have never worked out between us anyway.

"Hey, Hey Tori!" Cat yelled in my ear causing me to jump and practically slam my locker shut with my head.

"You scared the snot out of me Cat!" I huffed and reached for a tissue in my bag, make that the whole pack of tissues.

"Ew. You're nose is all snotty." _Thank you Captain Katherine Obvious. _"Any whoey, I just came by to wish you luck tonight on your duet with Andre." She tries not to stare at my still dripping nose, I swear my snot was like a BP oil spill, "Go knock their snots out!" she giggles at my expense and hops away.

When I finally cleaned up the Gulf, Beck approached.

"Hey, Just wanted to wish you luck out there." He gives me a reassuring smile but it looks slightly off, distant, like he has something on his mind."

"Thanks," I politely respond, trying not to get in his business but my curiosity gets the better of me as usual. "A penny for your thoughts?" He sticks out his hand and finds amusement in my confused expression.

"I think Jade wants to break up," he deadpans, but before I could inquire further, he continues, " We went to her favorite coffee shop, Brewed Awakening, and she started talking about our relationship. She says it's not the same, and I'm starting to think maybe she's right." He seems like he is trying to fight the thought of breaking up with Jade, and is about to be knocked out.

"Don't say that," I try to rid his worry, "Jade probably wasn't thinking straight. I mean did you see her today, she looked like she was hit by a truck." I chuckle at the image the dead tired Jade from this morning.

"Thanks Tori." Beck grins and I know our pep talk will get him through the next round.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

"… _I mean did you see her today, she looked like she was hit by a truck." _

I turned back around the corner and sprinted to the janitor's closet, Vega's laugh ringing loudly through my mind. I pulled out my mirror from my bag and looked at my reflection. Sure I could have applied my makeup better this morning and tried to conceal the bags under my eyes better, but was I that atrocious. Am I _crying? _Impossible, Jade West doesn't cry, especially when it has to do with that _princess_ Tori Vega. As the anger boils every ounce of blood in my veins, the salty water keeps dripping over my eyelids. _Stop it!_ Who gives a rats ass what Vega thinks, certainly not me!

"I swear when I get my hands on that gir-" the obnoxious ringing of my Pearphone interrupted my rant. "WHAT!"

"Why hello to you to." Becks voice is dry on the other end "Where are you? The concert's about to start."

"Don't worry, I'll be there." I hang up and dig my makeup out of my bag. If Tori Vega thought I looked bad this morning then I've got to dress to kill tonight.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

"This is a song I wrote for-"

"For his dog!" I grabbed the mic before Andre could say Jade's name.

"I love my dog." Andre plays along as I nod my head in approval.

As we totally kill it up there on the balcony I can't help but keep trying to get Andre's attention. He just would not tear his eyes away from Jade; I was starting to regret giving him this idea. After the chorus I got lost in the song and completely forgot about my plan to get Andre's attention, I scanned the crowd of students dancing along to the song and I noticed Beck and Jade clapping along to the beat. I couldn't wipe the huge grin off my face as I sang to Jade, even though it was Andre's song I could help but think of how perfectly it fit my situation, I mean after all I was in love with Jade as well.

When the concert was over our friends came over to congratulate us. Cat bounced over and gave Andre a big hug while I gave Robbie a hug. I must have been seeing things because I could've sworn I saw Jade standing behind Robbie waiting to talk to me, but of course I realized too late. I went to hug Beck while Andre and Jade hugged. The air was thick with the awkward stares between the two and for once I was grateful Rex opened his mouth.

"Jade hugged you." I stated after the others ran off to get spaghetti tacos. To be honest I was a tad jealous. I wonder if Jade would've hugged me if I had only noticed her standing there sooner.

"Yah, She did." He replied, shoving his hands in his pockets a little disappointed.

"So… You ok now? You wonky?" I asked, hoping he was finally over her. The whole point of singing that song was to get over her, both of us to get over her.

"I'm not sure," he shakes his dreads, "It might take me a little while before I know if I-"

"Oh my gosh Andre," a tall brunette girl places her hand on Andre's arm, getting his attention. "That song was so hot." She eyes him up and down.

"Yah?"

"Yah, wanna go hang?" She points over to her group of friends. Andre turns to me, a silent question, and I nod my head. He walks a couple of feet before coming back and asking, "Jade who?" A smile graces my face due partially to Andres' new interest, and mostly because I have one less competitor fighting for Jade's affection.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

I love spaghetti tacos. I would have dismissed the mere thought of tomato sauced noodles in a corn shell if it hadn't been for dinner at Tori's house that one night. I need to stop thinking about her. With our argument the other day, and my eaves dropping from earlier, we aren't exactly on the best of terms. I almost slipped up a little while ago when I waited to congratulate her, but I kind of wished I did. Even though I rather be sentenced to a week in a box full of tigers by Judge Judy than admit I missed Tori, that didn't mean that wasn't the case. I need to find her.

"Hey Jade." Beck pulled me aside then suddenly looked at his shoes as if they were the greatest think in the world. I stood there expecting him to say something.

"Look, if you're not going to say anything I kinda have to go-"

"Do you love me?" He looks into my eyes, searching for his answer. His question catches me of guard.

"Of course I love you, why would you ask?"

"Do you still love me the way you did the first time you told me?" his eyes are desperately trying to look into my soul. Do I still love him like that? "You can be honest with me Jade, I know you wanted to break up this morning, and I think I know why." _Crap, does he know? No he can't possibl- _"I know you love Andre."

"Andre?"

"I saw the way he looked at you, his song for you, and I noticed you staring at him the whole song." _Wait, he thought-_

"Wait, You think I was staring at-" I stop myself before I make a huge mistake. "I was staring at the piece of tomato stuck in Vega's huge teeth!" _Nice save._

"Jade," Beck sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, "It's ok, you don't have to lie. I know you like Andre and I know you want to break up. Just tell me one thing." I nod. "Do you still love me like you use to?"

"Honestly Beck," I pause, I know I wanted to break up with Beck this morning but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell right now. "I don't remember how I felt the first time I told you I loved you, but I do know I'll always love you, even if we're not together." As I look into his eyes I can see his heart breaking. "I'm so sorry Beck." I pull him into a hug and I didn't know a warm embrace could break me down.

"It's going to be alright Jade." He wipes away my tears and kisses my forehead for the last time. "The last thing I want is you to say with me when you don't feel the same way you used to, I want you to be happy." Standing there in his arms, I know everything will be ok.

* * *

><p>Through closed doors I can still hear the music blasting from outside. It resonates through the empty hallways, bouncing off the closed metal lockers. As I shut my locker, a certain wavy brunette in a sparkly green shirt steps into the deserted hallway.<p>

"Hey." She smiles as she gently shut the door and makes her way to her locker. She gazes at me curiously while she reaches inside and grabs her bag.

"Great job tonight." I mumble as I suddenly become fascinated with Robbie's disgustingly unsanitary baby bottle locker.

"I'm sorry, did I just hear Jade West complement me? She puts her hand to her chest and bats her eyelashes.

"Did Jade just complement little ol' me?" I exaggerate her actions.

"I don't talk like that!" she exasperates, throwing out her arms.

"And I don't give complements so, your welcome I guess." I soften my voice. Her signature creepy smile is plastered on her face and I know what's coming next. She holds up her arms and wiggles her fingers. "Just this once, but hurry up before someone sees us." Her creepy smile disappears and is briefly replaces with a genuine beautiful smile of pure joy, and I can't help but smile as she rubs her hands up and down my back. She pulls back too soon for my liking.

"Well I better go find Trina or i'll be here all night." She adjusts the bag on her shoulder, looks down, and slowly starts to walk away.

"I could give you a ride home," I blurt out and she quickly turns on her heals. God, she's looking at me as if I just smacked her across the face. "I mean, if you want. You don't have to-"

"Let me just tell Trina." And with that she's bursting out the door with a huge grin.

* * *

><p>"Well, here we are." I point out as I park the car in front of her house. That was probably <em>the <em>most awkward car ride in the history of awkward car rides, the only noise was the radio, and still that wasn't enough to cut through the tension.

"I love this song." Tori says her first words since she shut the door and reaches over to adjust the volume.

"Really Vega?" I scoff at her taste in music.

"Shhh! Would you be quiet for a couple of minutes, and then I'll be happy to leave." She snaps as she starts tapping out the slow rhythm of the guitar.

"Before I fall too fast

Kiss me quick

But make it last

So I can see

How badly this will hurt me

When you say goodbye"

Her voice fills the quite car, captivating me. I turn to face her, taking in every word, letting her fill my heart.

"See this heart

Won't settle down

Like a child running

Scared from a clown

I'm terrified

Of what you do

My stomach screams

Just when I look at you"

She glances at me briefly before quickly turning her head to look out the window. I feel like I'm going to barf, something is stirring inside my stomach, making me feel suddenly uneasy.

"So now you see

Why I'm scared

I can't open up my heart

without a care

But here I go

It's what I feel

And for the first time in my

life I know it's real"

She's now facing me and I fell drawn to her. Like there is some sort of magnetic force pulling us toward each other. She stops singing and the music continues, but I can't hear it over the sound of my heart beating through my ears. The last thing I see are a pair of warm brown eyes slowly closing along with mine, then suddenly my whole body is exploding with the warmth of two soft lips pressed against my own.

The sudden crescendo jolts me back to reality. I quickly pull away, putting as much distance between the half Latina and me.

"Get out." I say coldly as I turn off the music and start the car.

"Jade I thin-"

"I said get **_out_**!" I snap as I tighten my grip on the steering wheel. Tori jumps and quickly unfastens her seat belt. She fumbled with the door handle before finally getting it open. As soon as stumbled out and closed to door, I floored it. Through tear filled eyes and the rearview mirror I took one last look at a stunned Tori Vega.


	7. Dumb I Sound

**This Far**

Chapter 7- Dumb I Sound

**Blah, Blah, Blah, I don't own Victorious nor the song Dumb I Sound, Blah.**

* * *

><p><strong>Something's suddenly unclear<strong>

**Someone's suddenly my fear**

**My eyes demand like broken eaves**

**The ladle overspills on eaves**

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

I fumbled out of the car and regain my balance while the loud screech of rubber tires, kicks up dust. I stand outside my house staring in the direction that Jade sped off in, my lips burning from the recent contact with another and that's when a wave of emotions washed over me. Tears streamed like waterfalls over my eyelids and over my lips as if they were being treated for burns.

* * *

><p><strong>If you once knew<strong>

**How I loved you**

* * *

><p>I somehow managed to drag my numb body into my house and up the stairs to my room before Trina made it home from the concert, and by the time she barged into my room I stopped crying long enough for her to tell me all about this hot senior boy who she swears was singing to her. As soon and she shuts the door and her terrible rendition of 360 Days is out of ear shot, the emptiness seeps in and before I realize, I'm asleep and tears are being collected behind my eyes like a reservoir.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>And my bruise-colored eyes peel<strong>

**Every image to your face and heal**

**And if you're happy, I am too**

**And if you're sleeping, I'm with you**

* * *

><p><em>Figures as soon as we reach my house a decent song comes on the radio.<em>

_"I love this song." I state excitedly as i reach over to adjust the volume to a level to a volume that the human ear can actually register._

_"Really Vega?" Jade scoffs_

_"Shhh! Would you be quiet for a couple of minutes, and then I'll be happy to leave." I spit out quickly so I could get ready to sing along. I tap my fingers against the side of the door._

_I'm surprised I made it this far through the song without a single groan or complaint from the raven-haired girl sitting in the drivers seat._

_"So now you see_

_Why I'm scared_

_I can't open up my heart_

_without a care_

_But here I go_

_It's what I feel_

_And for the first time in my_

_life I know it's real"_

_I stare at the goth girl as i finish the bridge of the song and she turns to look at me. I peer into her eyes now green due to the lack of lighting in this suddenly cramped car, and notice a familiar look once seen in a dream. My heart races and lungs suddenly come up short of air as we start gravitating toward each other. Those ever-changing eyes sync with mine as our lips collide with each other in an soft explosion of warmth that makes its way through every inch of my body._

_"Get out." The air suddenly grows cold and the width of the car seems to have expanded ten feet as the goth girl pulls away and fixates her eyes onto the steering wheel._

_"Jade, I think-"_

_"I said get out!"_

* * *

><p>I joggle awake and the dam breaks as i open my eyes and the tears begin flooding the once hopeful city. I wasn't hurt that Jade had completely rejected me, well obviously I was, I was mostly upset by my utter stupidity. How could i have been so foolish to think that Jade West, the girl that hated me, that secretly became my friend but i don't even know if we're friends anymore because of that stupid fight, <em>how could i forget about that fight<em>, how could i think that she would be okay with me kissing her? Besides the fact that we haven't even made up from our fight the other day, she has a boyfriend, albeit he told me she wanted to break up earlier, she's still with him. She's still with him and not me, and judging by her reaction to my ignorance, she never will be.

* * *

><p><strong>But you love someone else<strong>

**But you want to be with someone else**

**And I can't believe how dumb I sound**

**And I will put my face over the ground**

**And love you**


	8. Please Forgive Me

**This Far**

Chapter 8- Please Forgive Me

**My demons walk with me**

**They told me not to leave them alone**

**I put you on the tree**

**I tore your heart to pieces**

**Jade****'****s POV**

That had to be by far the worst weekend of my life. Not only did I break up with my boyfriend of three years, but I also pushed away the one person that seemed to genuinely like me. I didn't mean to, it just happened so fast. I mean I had dreamt of kissing her for a while now, but I never expected it to happen so soon. I may be bossy and controlling, but I like to take things slow, maybe go out for coffee or a bite to eat first. Let's be honest, I spent so much of my time putting Tori down and rejecting her friendship that I hardly know anything about her. Sure I know her favorite color is purple, she loves dogs but Trina's allergic so she's never been able to have one, and her all time favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast, but those are just random facts she tells all her friends. Right?

**You swept me off my feet**

**You gave your heart to me alone**

**I left you out at sea**

**I left you there to bleed**

Maybe I should talk to her, apologize, explain that I wasn't ready to move on so fast. Seriously, I had just broken up with Beck and she was already making a move on me, Vega's got guts I'll admit that. We've barely been friends- scratch that, We _were _barely friends for what, like a week? The point is I don't want to rush into anything just to end up ruining it in the end. Yeah, if I just explain all that to her I'm sure she'll understand.

**But please forgive me**

**Please****please forgive me**

So here I am, shuffling through the books and papers in my locker for the umpteenth time. I take a break as I slyly peer around my locker door at the closed starlit locker, the owner nowhere in sight.

"Who are you waiting for?" the bubbly red-head startled me.

"Jesus Cat," I grab onto the locker for balance, "Who said I was waiting for anyone?"

"You've been standing at your locker for five minutes now, are you waiting for Beck?" She quickly asked as if I would explode or break down at the very mention of his name. Right now I could care less, it's two minutes until the bell rings and Tori is nowhere to be found.

"No, I was just doing some spring cleaning," I take one more glance over to the undisturbed locker, "Come on let's get to class." _Hopefully she__'__ll be there. _

We walk into to class right as the bell rings, Cat sits near the front with Andre, Beck, Robbie and that stupid puppet. I stand in the door way as my eyes scan the room for the brunette, but despite my wishful thinking, those brown curls absent. Then my eyes lock with Sikowitz and I realize maybe it's time to take my seat.

**My demons waltz with me**

**I begged them not to leave me alone**

Only two more minutes left in class and the end couldn't come any sooner. Tori walked into the classroom 5 minutes late, apologizing for Trina's need stop by and pick up some new lipgloss. Sikowitz interrupted her mid sentence, motioning her to take a seat. Her eyes searched around the room, landed on the empty chair next to me, glanced up, noticed me and shot across the aisle. Of course she wouldn't want to sit next to me, she probably wants to be as far away as possible. If I was her I wouldn't even come to school today, but she's not me. She's stubborn, and sweet, and all around a better person than I'll ever be. Yet, when I look into those delicious chocolate eyes, and hear that stupid but cute and infectious laugh, I want to be a better person. For her, only her.

The bell rings and I am caught completely off guard, between Sikowitz yelling about some homework hardly anyone is going to take seriously, and me hurriedly putting my stuff away, I missed Tori slip through the back door. I push my way into the hall and toward her locker, _fuck, missed her again. She couldn__'__t have gotten that far. _

I walk into the bathroom, realizing I haven't had the chance to go yet because I've been too busy trying to find Tori this morning. Maybe I'll just wait until after school to confront her because I rarely put this much effort into something and it is exhausting. But when I step out of the stall, there she is, pushing down loose strands, and polishing up her pink lip gloss. Do I make my presence known and scare her off or should I play it cool and act as if I didn't notice her. _Shit, too late._ She makes eye contact with me in the mirror and quickly reaches for her bag to put her stuff away.

"Wait, I've been waiting all morning to talk to you."

"You said enough the other night, Jade." She steps away.

"But I didn't say anything that night, and that's the problem." I say taking a step closer and reaching for the soap in front of her. I can see her looking at the mirror, not wanting to look directly at me, not wanting to trust me. I grab a paper towel and proceed to dry my hands before continuing. "You caught me by surprise," her eyes roll "I didn't think you felt that way."

"It was a mistake." She loosens her grip on the sink in front of her. "I thought you were nicer than you perceived, but I misread everything. You're exactly how you want everyone to think you are. A cold hearted jerk."

"Please Tori, just let me explain." I plead as I jog in front of her.

"No, Jade. Can we just forget the last couple of weeks, when I thought we could be friends. Let's just go back to when you would pour coffee on my head, and frame me for something I didn't do, because those hurt a lot less than thinking you were different and I had any chance." Her voice cracks. She pushes past me and out the door as the bell rings warning me to get to class, warning me to stay away.

**And so your heart is free**

**And so your heart is free**


	9. I'll Be Okay

**This Far**

**Chapter 9 - I****'****ll Be Okay**

**There****'****s something endearing**

**About this empty room.**

**The sun is in my eyes now,**

**it****'****s a quarter past two.**

**And I****'****ve got my guitar,**

**and you****'****ve got your space,**

**so I****'****m stuck in this place.**

**I****'****m stuck in this place.**

**Tori****'****s POV**

The weekend after the Friday night, that will go down in history as _the _worst Friday night ever, was also possibly the longest weekend ever. I told my family not to bother me the whole time because I was studying for my big theater test. It worked, no one bothered me and they never questioned why I wore the same sweatpants. I did have a test but I didn't study, instead I spent the whole weekend in bed crying because I was rejected but also cursing myself for even kissing Jade in the first place. I should've known she wouldn't take it well. I mean she's hated me since the first day I arrived at Hollywood Arts and spilled coffee on her boyfriend. I should have just steered clear of her instead of trying so desperately to make her my friend.

**I kinda don****'****t mind it,**

**I****'****m losing my mind.**

**Put off what****'****s important,**

**if it****'****ll buy me some time.**

**Time to get braver,**

**time to postpone**

**the evident failure**

**I can****'****t seem to disown.**

**And I****'****m still alone,**

**yeah I****'****m still alone.**

Why do I even like her? _No stop Tori. _Why _did _I ever like her? Jade West is an ice queen. She has a cold demeanor, no emotions except anger. Usually, when asked to describe her, people use the words intimidating, heartless, jerkass, and 9 out of 10 times, straight up bitch. All of those are true. Yet, in the back of my mind I can't help but think that while all those descriptions are correct, there is more to her. She's like an onion, as cheesy as that sounds, different layers that need to be peeled back. The more you peel the more it burns and makes you cry, and _damn_ does it make you cry.

**Will you take me home?**

**Will you take me home?**

**Will you take me home?**

**Will you take me home?**

I tried to peel back the layers so many times and I'm tired of looking like an idiot. It's pointless. Even if I do get to all the layers, I'll just end up with onion carcass and tears. Maybe it's better for both of us if I stop, that way both of us won't end up hurt. Her majesty's castle will remain untouched, I never could get past the alligator infested moat anyhow.

**The day is not over,**

**I****'****m still in my bed,**

'**cause sleep is the answer**

**to the questions that float in my head.**

**And I am not sober,**

**and I am not well,**

**I thought you could tell.**

**You never could tell.**

It's Monday now and I'm already dreading this week. I fought the thoughts in my head all weekend and I have decided to avoid Jade like the plague. I spent the whole morning practicing what I was going to say to her if I ended up running into her. I ran my lines over and over again while I waited for Trina to come downstairs, I even mumbled them in the car just to make sure was able to actually spit them out of my mouth when and if the time came. Lucky for me Trina was too busy telling me about these parties she went to this weekend while I was locked in my room making her look bad because I was studying. I chose not to listen because I had to prepare myself and because her stories were all the same. She would start off talking about her outfit which is _always_ on point, then she would talk about spotting a cute boy and trying to flirt with him, but the thing about all these stories is that she was never invited to any of the parties, she just sort of crashed them. My sister is not as popular as she makes herself seem, but she's my sister so I'm contracted by blood to put up with her.

After having to stop by the store for lip gloss, we finally arrived at school. I ran to my locker to put my books away then head to class. Before I opened the door, I took a deep breath, I knew what was on the other side. _Now or never Tori. _I know apologizing would be pointless because Sikowitz would either not even notice, cut me off, or throw a ball at my head but I tried anyway. My eyes scanned the room looking for the nearest seat but when I looked up my eyes met these hard green gems. I quickly found a seat on the opposite side of the isle and tried to regain my composer. I repeated my speech in my head one more time before trying to figure out what the heck Sikowitz was rambling about now.

**I have nothing but patience**

**and nothing to lose,**

'**cause you****'****ve given me nothing**

**in the time that it takes you to choose.**

**And there****'****s no excuse now,**

**for making mistakes.**

**It****'****s time to grow up,**

**face the choices you make.**

**You take and you take,**

**and I****'****m starting to break.**

The bell was about to ring and I could feel those piercing green eyes I saw when I walked in staring at me, I needed to think of a way to get away quickly. I couldn't go to my locker because that would be the first place she'd look, I could just go to my next class, but my book is in my locker. If I hide in the bathroom until the warning bell hopefully she would have left by then. It was settled then, I would wait in the bathroom until it was safe to go back to my locker. The bell rang and I quickly grabbed my bag and headed out the front of the classroom, completely ignoring Sikowitz telling everyone about the homework assignment. I'll just ask Andre what it is later, right now I'm on a mission. I open the stall and stood there for a couple of minutes before realizing it's really weird to just be standing in a stall, I don't think Jade even uses the school restrooms, they are probably too dirty for her to even step foot in. I finish applying some lip gloss before I notice someone standing behind me. _Shit, Run! _I try to hurry and get out of there without talking to her but she noticed me and starts to talk.

"Wait, I've been waiting all morning to talk to you."

"You said enough last night, Jade." I take a step away.

"But I didn't say anything last night, and that's the problem." she takes a step closer reaching for the soap in front of me. I look at the mirror, trying to avoid eye contact, trying to remember the speech I prepared for this confrontation. She grabs a paper towel before continuing. "You caught me by surprise," I roll my eyes, "I didn't think you felt that way."

"It was a mistake." I loosen my grip on the sink as I start to recall what I've been practicing all morning. "I thought you were nicer than you perceived, but I misread everything. You're exactly how you want everyone to think you are. A cold hearted jerk."

"Please Tori, just let me explain." she begs as she stops between me and the door.

"No, Jade. Can we just forget the last couple of weeks, when I thought we could be friends. Let's just go back to when you would pour coffee on my head, and frame me for something I didn't do, because those hurt a lot less than thinking you were different and I had any chance." My voice cracks. _Smooth. _A little upset and embarrassed I push past her and out the door as the warning bell rings telling me I should get my book and head to class. Although this bell seems different, like it's trying to warn me about something more. I wipe away some tears threatening to fall and tell myself not to look back. _Never look back._

**but I****'****ll be okay,**

**I****'****ll be okay,**

**I****'****ll be okay,**

**I****'****ll be okay,**

**I****'****ll be okay,**

**I****'****ll be okay,**

**I****'****ll be okay,**

**I****'****ll be okay. **


End file.
